You Want What?

A young guy, maybe twenty years old, asks if we have a certain book. I walk over to the right section with him and we look -- nope, sorry, we don't have it, thanks for trying us, would you like to call our other locations because we all have a different inventory, thanks so much.

And then he says, "Where can I find wood?"

"Wood?"

"Yeah."

"Actual wood. Not a book called wood."

"Yeah."

"So, not something that we would have in this store."

"No. Real wood. We're going camping. We're from Dallas. We're going camping at [stupid campsite] and when we called they said there wasn't much firewood around."

"Well, there's a Home Depot a few exits down the freeway."

The punk has the nerve to say, skeptically, "And they'd have wood? That you could use for a fire?"

No, but I have a back-stock of paperbacks that you are welcome to use as kindling. I have officially run out of patience. "I don't know. Where would you go for firewood?"

"Walmart?"

"I don't live near here. I don't know where the closest Walmart is. Do you want me to google it?"

And then a customer chimes in. "There's a Walmart one exit up the freeway. What are you looking for?"

"Firewood. Wood chips."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, it's the end of the summer in Texas. Maybe you should try Home Depot?"

Boo-yeah. I totally win.